idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize