You can't motorboat a personality
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
