Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
