I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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