did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
