I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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