i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
