she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
