As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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