hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
