I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
