Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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