Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
