NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize