a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
