So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
