Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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