i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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