shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
