My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
