Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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