I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Randomize
