K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
