so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
