Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
