I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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