from now on my penis is your penis
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
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