The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
