grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
