Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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