Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
