i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize