so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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