So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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