Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
