I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
