We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
