Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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