Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
