i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
