Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
