how can u be prego again
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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