I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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