2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My vagina is very pro this idea
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
