So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
