I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
this hospital has no fireball
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
