Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
