I'm so fucking centered right now
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
