i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
