Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
