NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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