...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
