girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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