New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
