Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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