HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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