last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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