these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
