Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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