I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
